Letting go is not as easy as it sounds, so I don’t take it lightly. Any of you who have had the courage to let go of your painful past, well done.
Earlier this year, I was led to face some issues from my own past, things I thought I had dealt with. I didn’t enjoy it, but I know it was God’s way of leading me into more freedom, peace, and joy.
Letting Go is Difficult
It’s painful because, to heal our past hurts, we first have to acknowledge them and revisit the pain. As I was revisiting the painful experiences in my past, I was taken back to how it felt, and believe me, it was hard.
Although I was aware that this was just a process and that I was not going to have to experience it again, I still felt the sadness and loneliness of it, and more importantly the injustice.
I also had an underlying fear that I was going backward and that I might get stuck in this place. It was exhausting. Letting go of emotional pain is a tiring process. It’s hard to believe how we cling on so tightly to our pain.
Let me explain the process, but, bear in mind this is not the first letting go process I have been through. This might be the final one, but if any of it comes back, I now know how to quickly deal with it. I have the tools and I want to share them with you.
3 Steps To Letting Go Of Your Past Hurts
1. Accept Your Past
Accept it. It is what it is and you can do nothing to change it now. It’s simply part of your history.
Accept that your pain is preventing you from living fully and it is depleting your energy. Accept that you are finding it difficult to let go of the hurt.
Ask God to help you. It takes courage to let go. It is not an easy task and those who do it are the strong ones. It is not a weakness to forgive.
We hold on tightly to our pain for a reason. We must somehow believe that it is helping us. This is where you need to go deeper and ask yourself, what am I gaining from holding on to the pain? Usually, the child in us (the inner child) thinks that if I hold on to my pain, I am staying safe, that it is protecting me in some way and no one can ever hurt me again.
We also believe that if I let go and forgive the people who hurt me, that I am condoning it, but this is not true either. What forgiveness says is, ‘I don’t agree with what you did, but I’m going to forgive you anyway.’ You are not a doormat or a fool. You are doing this for YOU – to set YOU free.
2. Share Your Story
Express your pain to supportive people in your life or a trained professional, someone who understands the healing process. This will free up some of the strong emotions to help you to use your adult mind to co-operate with the process. You must remember, the wounded inner child does not want to let go as it’s afraid.
When I say the inner child, what I mean is that part of your mind that stays stuck in the past and is still thinking like a child, and because it is wounded, it is afraid of change. It would rather stay stuck in negative feelings rather than take the risk of letting go and moving into the unknown.
3. Don’t Be A Victim
Take personal responsibility for your part in it. Yes, you were the one that was hurt and you have every right to feel justified in being angry or resentful (I know, I was the same). It is true, you were wronged and what they did to you was unfair, but the part you need to take personal responsibility for is to not hold on to it anymore. You are not a victim of it, but rather a survivor.
Being a survivor is a much more empowering position to be in and at the same time, you are not forgetting or minimising the hurtful actions of others. Accept that it happened and that you are powerless over the past, but you are not powerless over your future.
So, you accept it fully and make a decision to let it go. Then, look at all your gifts and talents and focus on building a positive future. Where do you begin? You begin right here and now – in the present moment. You only have today, so choose to be happy, choose to be prosperous and healthy. Choose life!
Dealing with life’s hurts is a painful process, but you can rest assured, you are not alone. Everyone was hurt in some way, by someone. It is always wise to seek help if it’s causing you problems in your life today.
If you decide to face your past, you won’t regret it as it will free you up inside and restore you to your natural, happy self, so you can enjoy life again.
Condition yourself towards a more positive mindset. Set your mind on higher things and train yourself to feel powerful, joyful, energetic, loving, and whatever else you feel called to be each day. God is in control, so let go and let God.