Archives June 2020

Look around you, how many people do you see living happy, fulfilling, peaceful lives? Not too many. Why is this? Why are people stressed out and having problems in their work, relationships, and financial life?

The simple answer to this question is, their lives are out of balance. The focus is not in the right place. People are not prioritising their lives, they give too much time and energy to one area of their life, whilst neglecting other equally important parts.

Too much of anything, even a good thing is not good for you. Too much work, food, exercising, socialising, or time alone is not good for you. Without balance in life, problems will occur. If you live with moderation, you will feel more balanced.

“Let your moderation be known to all men.” Philippians 4:5, The Bible (KJV).

For example, if you work too much, you become stressed, which can be harmful to your body. Stress can cause heart disease, headaches, back problems, and also mental health problems.

Why do we choose to live out of balance?

It is our lack of awareness that causes us to live out of balance. Our life gets out of balance because we don’t know what we truly want or what a harmonious life could look like. We haven’t taken the time to consider it properly.

Any area of your life that is out of balance will rob you of your joy. Maintaining a life of balance is one of the biggest challenges you’ll face in life today.

Signs That Your Life Is Out Of Balance? 

You might feel….

• irritable

• tired

• stressed

• angry

• apathetic

• bored

• depressed

• unhappy

• lonely

• physically unwell

• dissatisfied

• a lack of joy or enthusiasm

• frustrated

• driven

Work / Life  Balance:

Today we are living in an increasingly demanding work culture, and the pressure to perform efficiently and effectively is the norm.

Employers are working hard to find new ways to get the most out of their employees so their companies will thrive and stay on top of the highly competitive market.

Employees are finding it difficult to keep up too, and young college graduates are feeling inadequate in such a fierce market place. Many do not feel good enough, and feelings of unworthiness are commonplace.

“Work allows you to provide for yourself and your family while also serving a purpose in the community, but when it takes over your life, it can negatively affect your health.” (MentalHealthAmerica)

So, What’s The Answer? How Can We Achieve Work-Life Balance?

Studies have shown that employees who have a positive work-life balance do a better job at work, and many corporations have already made adjustments to accommodate the working styles of different individuals in the workplace.

Some of the changes in the workplace are:

• Flexitime

• More breaks

• Onsite gyms/pools

• Childcare services

• Company outings

• Team-building exercises

• More holidays

• Providing water/tea/coffee facilities

• Subsidised meals

• Counselling/Coaching

• Medical care

Stress in the workplace is a big problem nowadays, but some people seem to be able to manage it. Let’s look at the habits of those people who have achieved a good work-life balance?

10 Habits Of People Who Have Achieved Work-Life Balance

They make deliberate choices about what they want in life

They communicate what’s working and what’s not working for them

They allocate time for family and friends

They set their own parameters around success

They know what makes them happy – hobbies, meeting friends etc.

They are single-minded, they know where they are going and are focused

They have developed the ability to organize time effectively

They have goals with time frames

They have developed a strong network of support

They set clear boundaries

If you are struggling to find balance in your life,  consider the following…

What does balance mean to you? What does it look like? When are you at your best? What brings you joy? What makes you truly happy and at peace? Find your balance point and do your best to maintain it. Then organize your life in such a way that you feel happy and grounded.

The Benefits Of A Work-Life Balance

• Better health – physical, emotional, mental and spiritual

• More time for hobbies, friends and family

• Less stress and anxiety

• Happiness

• More creativity

• Learn new things

• Better relationships

• Less addictive behaviours

• More energy

• Increased confidence

• Good self-esteem

• Calmness

• You’ll be clear-minded and focused

• You’ll feel more positive and optimistic

• Relaxed

3 Key Goals To Keep Your Life in Balance

According to Brian Tracy (Motivational Public Speaker and Self-Development Author), there are 3 key goals to keep your life in balance.

1. Financial – these are your career or work goals. Your WHAT GOALS? By WHAT goals he means, what you want to achieve or accomplish?

2. Personal – this is your family, friends, and health. These are your WHY GOALS? The reason why you are working. You wanted to achieve financial success so you could enjoy your life and relationships.

3. Professional / Personal Development –  These are your HOW GOALS? – how you make things happen. These are the skills and behaviours that you learn to make it possible to achieve your goals.

The reason people’s lives get out of balance is that they ‘lose sight of why they wanted to achieve financial success in the first place.’ (Brian Tracy)

They forget that they wanted to be successful, so they could enjoy their lives and relationships.

To have balance in your life, you must ask yourself, what’s important? What relationships are important to me?

Finding Your Balance Point

Each of us has a unique balance point. Some people can work long hours, without feeling compromised, or can function well on little sleep, while others may not be able to do such long hours without feeling exhausted. We are all different.

Either way, you can find your balance point if you pay attention. Observe yourself daily, paying attention to your physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

It can be difficult for some people though, especially high achievers as they may deny their limitations and push themselves beyond their balance point regularly, which inevitably leads to stress, illness, frustration, and anger.

Knowing your limitations is crucial to finding balance. Your limits can change depending on your life circumstances and the amount of healing, growth, and development you have achieved. Some people may be dealing with past hurts and traumas that hold them back from fulfilling their goals.

If this is you, you may need to do some healing work to get yourself back on track. Sometimes people have to take time off work or study to just focus on their healing. If you feel this way, it is better to invest in your health and well being now, rather than suffer more later.

What Does Your Balance Point Look Like?

Your inner life and outer life are in harmony. What does this mean? It means what you believe on the inside, at your deepest level will be lived out and seen on the outside in your behaviour.

So, how can you find your balance point?

You find your balance point by getting in touch with your core values. Your core values might be to be a good honest, parent, friend, businessman, nurse, doctor, artist, or writer, etc. Your core value could be to have an excellent character and to follow the ways of God.

Knowing what you value and what’s important to you will dictate how you spend your time and energy.

A crucial factor in finding balance and happiness in life is determining how you should spend your time. If you are not the one deciding how you spend your time, you can be sure others will!

How Should You Invest Your Time And Energy?

First, know who you are

What’s important to you

Know your values and beliefs

What matters to you

Then ask yourself the following questions….

Does this spark joy in me?

Does this increase or decrease my energy?

Is this working for me?

Do I feel overwhelmed?

Do I feel stressed?

Am I being true to myself?

When you do this, you will get clear about what’s working for you and what isn’t. Always listen to what your body is telling you, if something is good for you, it will feel right. If you feel anxious and stressed, maybe there’s a good reason for it, and something’s not right.  Trust your intuition.

The secret to happiness is not found in moments of intense emotion, but in a well balanced orderly life where all that’s important to you gets the attention and devotion, you feel it deserves.

Don’t get sucked into the false ideas of what happiness is. We all know deep down that fleeting pleasures leave no lasting joy or peace. Seek out the life that your true self wants.

What can you do today to change things?

• Practice self-discipline,  stop wasting time, reduce distractions, get clear on your priorities

• Be consistent with your actions

• Plan your weekly schedule

• Take proper care of yourself

• Set goals for your relationships, health, work, financial, emotional, and spiritual life

• What’s missing in your life? If it’s fun or relaxation, what can you do to have more fun or relaxation? What would spark joy in you?

• Be clear about what you want to achieve and define what balance means to you. When you know what it looks like, you can start to make the necessary changes to bring it about.

• Take time out for thinking.

• What do you like to do?

Listen to your inner wisdom. You always know best. For example, if you feel unhappy, ask yourself, “why am I unhappy and is there anything I can do to change this?” If you feel stressed, do the same. “What is causing me stress at this time? What can I do about it?”

Communicate your needs. If you are feeling dissatisfied, ask yourself the same questions. Get in the habit of listening to your mind, body, and emotions.

If your body is aching or you are getting headaches or other symptoms, it means something is out of alignment, you’re out of balance. You must always be aiming to get back to your centre because it is from this place that all life flows.

Finally, living a balanced life is achievable, but it takes work! The first step to finding balance and happiness in your life is to observe for the signs of stress or dissatisfaction early on, and then start to work on creating more balance and harmony.

Prioritize what’s important to you and then seek to find a way forward. Focusing on your financial, personal, and professional goals will help you to find balance and happiness in your life.

Also, knowing your limitations is key to finding life balance. You might want to achieve great things, and you can, but first, know your limitations. There may be something holding you back, such as a lack of self-belief or confidence. You may be taking on too much in one day. Get to know what works best for you.

A lot of self-development and healing can be done by yourself by getting in the habit of asking yourself questions regularly, such as “how am I feeling today?” “What’s causing me to feel anxious right now?” Questions like this will centre you and bring you back into balance.

If you need any support in organizing your life in a new way so that you can change those unhealthy patterns, please get in contact, and we can work together in making it a reality.

Courage

Aristotle called courage the first virtue because it makes all of the other virtues possible. It’s so true because without courage it’s almost impossible to break through into any new territory.

Leadership will be weak without this virtue, and all who follow will feel a lack of strength coming from the top, leaving people feeling insecure and uncertain, not knowing for sure if their leader is strong enough to carry them through the tough times.

What  Is Courage?

The Merriam – Webster Dictionary gives a simple and full definition of courage.

The simple definition: “the ability to do something that you know is difficult or dangerous.”

The full definition: “mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear or difficulty.”

So, what is courage really? What’s behind it? Why do we even need it?

Real courage is driven by a deep conviction to do what’s right, it’s a determination to do what’s right over what’s popular.

Great leaders never insult, belittle, or undermine a person, rather they support, encourage, and teach their team.

Courageous leaders give constructive feedback, rather than harsh criticism. They know when to stay silent, and can also take criticism themselves

What Is Courage In Leadership?

Courage in leadership starts with the leader. If you are a leader, it has to start with you. Do you know what you stand for? What are your values and beliefs? What’s important to you?

Is it honesty, respect, integrity, efficiency, loyalty, morality, communication, etc?

Self-examination is a very important part of leadership. It means doing a personal inventory on yourself, i.e. taking stock of your character and conduct regularly to see where you are deficient.

You can do this with a coach or trusted colleague, but not a close friend or family member, as they may be biased and not want to challenge you. A coach or colleague can be more objective, making the process a little less painful for you.

How To Carry Out A Personal Inventory 

I have broken this down into 3 categories; your personal life, public life, and spiritual life:

Your Personal Life:

Are there areas in your personal life that are less than honourable, such as dishonesty or a lack of integrity?

Take a pen and paper and simply think about your relationships and how you treat others each day? What words do you use? Do you give compliments, encourage, and edify, or do you criticize, belittle, or undermine the people close to you?

Often people think they can separate their personal life from their professional life, but the truth is, whatever attitudes or behaviours are carried out in private will eventually present themselves in the public arena too.

Do not underestimate the importance of your reputation. If that is destroyed in one place, it could carry on into all future positions. But, this should not be your motivation for living a good, honest life.

Learn to want to have an impeccable character. You will reap the rewards when you see how your character goes before you.

It is more of a compliment to be trusted than it is to be loved

Your Public Life:

As a leader you have a higher responsibility to live well and make good choices. People have put their trust in you to act on their behalf.

You are their role model, all eyes are on you, and people will always do what you do more than what you say.

Lead by example. This means treating all people with equality and respect. You need to be a man or woman of courage who goes ahead of the rest checking out what opportunities or dangers lie ahead. You are in a position of trust and responsibility, so you need to be fearless.

Write down 10 qualities you possess in your work life, and for personal growth purposes, write down your weakness too so you can work on them.

An inventory isn’t easy to do, but it’s so important, so don’t beat yourself up, be gentle with yourself. If you see areas that you feel bad about, forgive yourself and move forward. You can make amends if it’s necessary or just choose a different way next time.

Spiritual Life:

This can be your value system or your belief system. Whether you believe in God or not, you are a slave/servant to something or someone. You may choose to serve your God, and this will direct the course of your life.

Your value system will be based on these beliefs which will in turn trickle into your work life.

If God directs your personal and spiritual life, then God will also direct your leadership decisions.

You cannot be divided from your deepest core values and beliefs. They steer your ship, so to speak.

Your beliefs will be the driving force in your life, so it’s important to ask yourself what you believe, and are you living it out in reality?

It takes work to maintain your integrity. The key to integrity is to do what you say you will do and be consistent. Your word has weight, people can count on you.

10 Character Traits of a Courageous Leader:

1. They take their responsibilities seriously

2. They are trustworthy

3. They are effective communicators

4. They are risk takers

5. They are not afraid to confront bad behaviour

6.  They are pro-active

7.  They are not afraid to say No

8. They persevere

9. They are not afraid to be distinct, different from the crowd

10. They can handle criticism, but rarely criticize others

Empathy – Do Leaders Need It?

“Empathy is the ability to experience and relate to the thoughts, emotions, or experiences of others. Empathy is more than simple sympathy, it’s being able to understand and support others with compassion or sensitivity.” (Gentry, Weber & Sadri)

Empathy is a very important part of leadership. We are no longer in an age where the boss gives the orders, and everyone says ‘ yes sir, no sir,‘ without question.

Much more is expected and needed from a leader today. We need leaders who care, who genuinely take an interest in their staff.

According to a study carried out by Gentry & Chappelow in 2009, ineffective managers make up half of today’s organizational management pool. In the study, subordinates rated managers on 4 items:

1. Is sensitive to signs of overwork in others
2. Shows interest in the needs, hopes and dreams of other people
3. Is willing to help an employee with personal problems
4. Conveys compassion toward them when they disclose a personal loss

Their overall findings revealed that empathy is positively related to job performance and that empathy and performance have a connection in most cultures.

Leadership today has shifted and is now more about building and maintaining relationships

To improve performance and effectiveness, leaders may need to develop the capability to demonstrate empathy. Leadership today has shifted and is now more about building and maintaining relationships.

So, what can we do? Can empathy be learned?

Shapiro, 2002 says empathy can be learned. “If given enough time and support, leaders can develop and enhance their empathy skills through coaching, training or developmental opportunities and initiatives.”

Firstly, let us look at what Empathy is not.. It is not sympathy or pity. Bob T. Moran 2012 states that there are key distinctions:

Pity – Sadly Grieving Experience

Sympathy – Emotionally Sharing Experience

Empathy – Respectfully Understanding Experience – understanding feelings, situations, needs & aspirations

Empathy is a key component in Emotional Intelligence. Without good empathetic skills, it is impossible to be able to see the other person’s point of view.

To truly empathize, you need to put yourself in another persons shoes, and then try to walk a mile or two in them.

Transformational leaders need empathy in order to show their teams that they care about them.

The Benefits of Empathetic Leadership:

• The client feels validated and understood
• The client feels valued
• The client feels heard
• The client feels safe to share fears
• The client feels part of the team
• Performance improves
• Relationships are stronger
• Trust increases
• A sense of satisfaction

Empathetic listening is a key part of coaching as it builds rapport with clients. It develops trust and hence a safe environment to explore what’s going on for them.

“When a coach empathetically listens to another person’s ideas, thoughts, and concerns, the coach communicates that the other person’s life is important and meaningful. This may be the most important service that a coach can provide.” (Bob T. Moran, 2012)

The coach can help the client move forward once this level of understanding and trust has been developed. The client feels ready to explore what’s truly important for them.

As coaches, we offer a service where people experience empathy, and through this experience may develop the skills themselves. Alternatively, leaders and managers can get formal training in developing more empathy.

Leadership has certainly changed over the years. Today people are looking for leaders who genuinely care about them. They want to work in a nice environment where they feel heard and understood.

For leaders, this requires a lot of introspection and the development of soft skills. Qualities such as courage and empathy are essential in leadership today, along with other virtues, such as kindness, compassion, encouragement, and many others.

You don’t have to be a CEO of a large company or in a senior position to be the leader of your own life. We are all called to be leaders to a degree.

True leaders love to see everyone become a leader, to gain confidence in their ability, to think and act for themselves.

This way we won’t have people in jobs they hate, complaining and grumbling, for they will be responsible for their actions and decisions.

If you are in a job you hate, it is your responsibility to examine your situation and ask yourself, is this what I need? Am I satisfied?

If you’re complaining all the time, why is this, and what can you do about it?

When you become the leader of your own life, it means you can’t play the blame game. If you’re unhappy, it’s your responsibility to do something about it, not your boss, spouse, parents, teachers, or friends.

The problem is, too many people do not want to take responsibility for themselves, but it’s worth stepping up and learning new ways of carving out the life you want. It just takes a little bit of desire and a whole lot of courage!

Don’t let others decide on the direction of your life. Why not take control today and follow the 20 steps below? What have you got to lose?

20 Steps To Leading Your Own Life

1. Take responsibility for yourself – when things go wrong or you feel unhappy, don’t look for someone to blame. Be the leader of your own life and find a new way.
2. Speak up for yourself – a lack of confidence or self-belief might hold you back, but if you feel things are not right, don’t be afraid to speak up. Have a voice, your opinion matters.
3. Know what you want – it sounds obvious, but you’d be surprised just how many people don’t know what they want. Know what you want or you will end up being a slave to other people’s agendas.
4. Have standards – know your values and beliefs and if others are living below your set of standards; it’s your choice to either tolerate it or take a stand.
5. Know your unique gift – what are you good at that you cannot deny? We all have special talents or gifts, but what is it that is unique to you? What have you got that will make a difference? Use it and let others see that you have something of value to add.
6. Be hungry for improvement – have an unstoppable desire to improve the quality of your life and the life of others. Don’t forget simple virtues that create a growthful environment, such as kindness, gentleness, encouragement, respect, etc.
7. Be of good character – never underestimate the importance of good character. How you treat others matters. The quality of your leadership will be based on your character.
8. Set goals for your life – this is so important if you want to be the leader of your own life. If you don’t have goals to achieve in life, you might just drift from one thing to another with no real feeling of accomplishment. The other problem with not setting goals is that you might end up just following the crowd and never really discover who you are and what you want in life.
9. Lead by example – your actions are the most powerful way of communicating who you are and what you truly believe. There’s a proverb in the bible that says, ‘as water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.’ (Proverbs 27:19) So, let your actions speak of goodness.
10. Be fearless – this is something we need to remind ourselves of every single day, because one day I can be so strong and courageous, and the next I’m afraid to step out at all. Make a decision to push through your fears every day. You can do this by speaking bold words of confidence to yourself, such as “I can do it!” “I don’t care what others think of me!”
11. Respect others – being a leader of your own life does not mean barging full on ahead to achieve your goals while trampling over anyone who stands in your way. This is not the right way to succeed in life. All successful people of influence, respect, and honour others first. If you don’t care about others and only use people for what you can get from them, they will feel it and avoid you. You know the expression, “use things, not people.”
12. Embrace new ideas – always be open to new ideas, be ready to listen for the latest way of doing something. Listen to people when they share their innovative products and ideas. Be ready to say yes to new opportunities, even if you don’t yet have all the skills required. Say yes, and then learn how.
13. Question everything – always be like a child, be curious about everything. This means you are interested in life and interested in learning new things.
14. Do the next right thing – if you don’t know what to do next, do the next right thing. Sometimes we just don’t feel our best and maybe after some disappointments, you might not feel so motivated. But, just choose to do what’s good and what’s right. The easy way is not always the right way. Integrity takes effort and often sacrifice, but be of good character, people will respect you for this and you will feel so much better too.
15. Give people a chance – not everyone you meet is going to be your cup of tea. Or you may not want to work on a project with someone who isn’t what you had in mind, but give it time. Hear them out and think about it. You can always say no later, but everyone deserves one chance, at least!
16. Reject negativity actively – make a point of not letting negative people bring you down. Avoid negative people. We can all feel a bit fed up now and again, but if you hang out with people who are always complaining, they will just drag you down with them. Choose your company wisely.
17. Surround yourself with mentors and teachers – I love being around inspiring people. I like when they know more than me, so I can grow and become more like them. It’s important to have role models. This can be someone in your family, group of friends, a pastor, priest, teacher, parent, or even someone you follow on the internet or in books.
18. Care for people – it’s lovely to have people to care for. Serving others is the greatest way to come out of yourself. It’s amazing how small your problems seem when you are looking after people. It’s rewarding to think of others, but don’t lose balance – care for yourself too. Some people are so selfish, they can only think of themselves, while others only think of others and neglect themselves.
19. Always be kind – it sounds like such a simple thing, but why are people not kind? Make a decision to be kind to others, it takes effort. So, let’s make it a daily habit! The world needs more simple acts of kindness.
20. Pray and trust God – to live without God is not to live at all. Start to pray every day and just believe that God hears you because He does! God is eager to bless us, it is us who block the blessings.

When you become the leader of your own life and have the confidence and courage to step out of your comfort zone, you will discover a new excitement and passion for life.

You will feel more involved and part of life, instead of just being a spectator.

Coaching is all about questions. We encourage you to keep asking questions and never stop, be just like that little child who keeps saying “what’s this for? why this? why that?”

Think about what you want in life, and how you can make that possible. Are there people or things that are hindering you?

Often we don’t take the lead in our lives because we think we should be doing what others are doing, but if that doesn’t feel right for you, what can you do?

“To Thine Own Self Be True”

William Shakespeare

It takes courage to be true to yourself and follow your deepest desires.

If you want to be the leader of your own life, but feel a little afraid of stepping out, I’d be happy to work alongside you to get you on the road to a more exciting, autonomous life.

“YOU ARE TODAY WHERE YOUR THOUGHTS HAVE BROUGHT YOU, YOU WILL BE TOMORROW WHERE YOUR THOUGHTS TAKE YOU”

JAMES ALLEN

Once you understand the power of your thoughts and how they direct your life, the sooner you will be able to use your mind to create the success you desire.

Your belief in your ability to succeed will determine your ultimate level of success. Any doubt lingering in your mind will show itself in your behaviour, making the undesirable outcome you feared a reality.

Self-sabotage is one of the greatest barriers to success, as we are not aware of old negative thinking patterns that are ingrained in our subconscious mind. Many of us live out these self-limiting beliefs into adulthood.

Over 95% of what we do, think and, say comes from old programming in our subconscious mind. Unless you make a conscious effort to direct the immense power of your subconscious, it’s robotic and limited programs will run your life and sabotage your best intentions.

So, what can you do to overcome barriers to success in your life?

If you want to live to your fullest potential and be happy in life, you first need to develop a successful mindset that will propel you towards your desired life. Below are four ways that will shift your mindset and help you to overcome barriers to success:

4 Steps to Overcome Barriers to Success

1. Self-Belief

Be careful how you self-talk, because you are listening. Self-belief is feeling good enough. You can handle what life throws at you, you can cope well. It’s a healthy appreciation of yourself, your talents, characteristics, and abilities.

It’s seeing yourself as special and entirely unique, like no other person on the planet. It’s about the confidence that comes from within.

What is Self-Belief?

• Loving and liking yourself and others will follow

• Having an unshakeable conviction that God is for you and wants to help you to become all that you want to be

• Having a winning attitude

• A power base of energy that you were born with

• Believing it’s possible against all the odds

• Having good self worth

We build self-belief when we make decisions, take successful actions, and accept personal responsibility for both our successes and our failures.

Some of the things that can hold you back from living a successful life are doubting yourself, fear, lack of confidence, negative thinking, negative self-talk, fear of success or failure, procrastination, people-pleasing, worry, etc.

2. Self-Confidence

People with high self-confidence are likely to be successful. They will be living their lives on their terms, having a high degree of control over their environments.

‘Self-confidence comes when you are comfortable with who you are. You feel worthwhile, with a right to occupy your place in the world. You feel capable, competent, relaxed, happy, energetic, and positive.’  Chris Wesley.

You activate your self-confidence by believing in yourself. When you have unstoppable self-confidence your world will change. It’s necessary to build your self-confidence for you to take charge of your life. This means:

• Not caring what others think of you, not allowing their opinions to affect you

• Believing in yourself and achieving your goals

• Becoming interdependent

• Doing things that frighten you – taking risks!

• Moving out of your comfort zone

• Not being afraid to make mistakes

• Learning new things

• Being pro-active

• Being positive

• Loving yourself

3. Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the most powerful resource we have to effect change in our life. By being aware of what we say, do, and feel, we can step back to recognize our automatic patterns and reactions.

New insights let us break free from our old patterns, and defenses which allow us to choose something different, something that brings better results.

You can develop your relationship with yourself by being aware. Without awareness you are not present, if you are not present, you are living in the past or the future.

Awareness allows you to change those things you’d like to change about yourself and create the life you want.

The fact is, most of us are unaware of 80% of what we do, think, and say. We’re not always aware of our defenses, our emotional reactions, our beliefs and habits, our fears, negative self-talk, and judgements.

As you become more conscious, you begin to wake up to life. You are in control of your present, which is all that we can control. The key to developing more self-awareness is to be present.

Being Present: You do this by attending to yourself, tuning into yourself, observing yourself, reflecting on yourself, listening to yourself, loving yourself.

Self-awareness is having a clear perception of your personality, including strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivations, and emotions. Self-awareness allows you to see where your thoughts and emotions are taking you.

Do you want to go through life on auto-pilot, letting old tapes dictate how you act? Or do you want to truly live life by clearly seeing the choices before you, and claiming your power to choose what you most want? It’s up to you.

Breaking old habits is not easy, but if they are no longer serving you, don’t you think it might be wise to let them go?

4. A Belief In God or A Power Greater than Yourself

Having faith in a loving God who cares for you will give you a sense of power and strength. If you don’t have a strong belief in a God who is for you, it can be difficult to take on new challenges and step out of your comfort zone.

For instance, many people do the same job all their life, without ever even considering other options, other things they could try.

Working 40 hours a week for 40 years is not the only way to live, but of course, people do find security in that.

In our parents or grandparents generation, they didn’t have as many options as we do today, so changing careers was a lot more difficult for them, yet some did do it.

This is not so black and white, I know. Providing for a family requires a regular income and not everyone has the time, energy, or motivation to reskill and carve out a new career path.

But, if the desire is strong enough, and the faith in God is there, many people do in fact move on to more fulfilling, meaningful work.

People of faith take risks! It’s not because they are foolish, it’s because they want to expand, and discover more about their gifts and talents.

It’s about reaching one’s potential and wanting to serve and contribute to the world around them. It is also an act of obedience, for many feel led by the Spirit of God to do something new.

What worked for one season, may not work for the next. Life is constantly changing, so we need to be flexible.

Is it easy? Of course not! But, is it rewarding? Yes, it is! When we learn more, we grow more. We also mature, because with risk comes failure and with failure comes humility.

It isn’t a weakness to fail, it’s more of a weakness to never try. If you fail, and you will if you take risks, you need to get back up and ask yourself, what can I learn from this? And, can I help others from my experience?

“A righteous man may fall, but the Lord will sustain him.” (Psalm. 37:23-34)

Success God’s Way

An important thing to remember is success God’s way is not the same as success the world’s way.

Success God’s way means, finding out the will of God for your life, and then giving your best to it, using Godly principles.

Godly principles are found in the Word of God. The Bible is full of godly principles, most of them you probably already know, such as being honest, having integrity, being kind, trustworthy, and dependable.

Work hard, don’t be lazy, but work from a place of rest, which means, not being anxious about the outcome, but trusting that God will help you.

You Reap What You Sow

You will reap exactly what you sow. This is a simple scripture that warns us that whatever you plant you will also harvest.

Some people may look very wealthy and successful on the outside, but don’t be envious of them, because you don’t know if they have peace in their hearts. True success should bring peace.

God is just, both the wicked and the godly can gain wealth, but the difference is in how they use their wealth.

The Godly use their wealth to bless others and give glory to God. They are generous because they believe there is no scarcity in the Kingdom of God.

God promises to provide for all his children, and He is faithful. He keeps His promises.

How do you treat others? Are you honest? Are you sowing peace into other people’s lives? Are you sowing love, or do you cause others to feel anxious? Do you say hurtful things to others?

We all have to examine our motives and ask ourselves, are we treating others how we would like to be treated?

Can we call it success if we are feeling anxious and stressed all the time?

Success on Gods’ terms brings love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These are the fruits of the spirit. (See Galatians 5:22)

A righteous person sleeps at night with a clear conscience. They sleep peacefully because they are content.

“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” Galatians 6:7

The reason faith in God is essential is that with prayer and trust, you learn to know when to wait, and when to move forward. God will determine your steps.

Your thoughts and attitude are so important in overcoming barriers to success.

So, to succeed, you first need to develop a success mindset, to counteract the old negative thinking patterns.

You must work at it every day. Develop a whole new way of thinking and acting. I will discuss this more in my future posts.

Think Your Way Into Success.

When you ask God to help you, and then you do your part, there will be very little that can hold you back.

I wish you every success in achieving your life goals!

Anyone can set a few goals, it’s not all that difficult to decide on a goal, but how do we achieve them? Goal setting is not a new concept, especially in the business world.

We’ve heard about setting short term goals and long term goals, writing them down and magic, we’ve achieved them! Not always the case, so why is this?

I think most of us can honestly say that setting goals all sound very easy in theory, but when it comes to something we really want, it just doesn’t seem to happen.

We see it happens for the big guys, but we put that down to the law of averages saying that they are just the lucky few. We think some people are just born lucky or they had it easy. We mumble to ourselves, almost without being consciously aware, “life never gives me those lucky breaks!”

What just happened here?

We considered going for something we want in life, and we considered using goal setting as a way of making it happen, but at the first hurdle, we’re defeated.

We tell ourselves, it’s just not going to happen. Remember the power of your thoughts. 

‘As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he’ Proverbs 23:7.

The thing to remember is that it is not luck that brings about success. It’s not just for the chosen few.

We can have what we want and truly desire if we believe it is possible and then with that strong self-belief in place, take the necessary daily steps to make it happen.

No one ever said it was going to be easy! Anything worth having in life takes commitment. There are no short cuts to success.

Goal setting is ultimately about change. When you feel trapped or stuck, you can develop bad attitudes. This usually happens because you don’t know where you are going, your life lacks meaning and purpose.

Other people seem to be getting ahead, but you feel stuck and wonder why?

We can feel powerless when we find ourselves in this position. We don’t know how we got into it, and we certainly don’t know how to get out, so we just stay put, while resenting others who are moving forward. Really though, we are just mad with ourselves.

Set Goals That Inspire You

To achieve a goal, you need to consciously decide that you want it, that it’s important to you, and be willing to make a daily commitment to achieving it.

Goals bring clarity, focus, motivation, purpose, direction, meaning and movement.

Your goals need energy, so if you set goals that are too small and easy to achieve, it’s not as exciting. Don’t mix up a to do list with goal setting. 

Remember goal setting is about setting targets into the future that you can only dream of right now. They must inspire you!

What do I mean, they must inspire you? They must be more than you can see right now. You must dig deep to find out what’s stirring within you that wants to live.

It’s an act of faith to put your dreams into action. Don’t let your dreams lie dormant within you. You can make them a reality by just taking small actions every day.

Maybe you think, what if I set goals and then when I achieve them, I don’t want it, or it’s not as good as I had hoped?

Yes, this may happen, but you will feel good for having tried, and then you can turn around and move in a new direction. God can only direct our steps when we are moving, however slowly that may be.

How Can I Know If God Has a Different Plan For My Life?

This is something I’ve thought about a lot with regards to goal setting. When I follow God and pray for direction in my life, surely I shouldn’t set goals that may not be from God.

What I discovered is that goal setting is just a tool we use to help us to get to our destination, as it helps us to focus and get more in alignment with our purpose.

If you seek God’s direction in prayer and tell Him your plans, he will direct your steps as you move forward. Jesus always says, what do you want? This is how you align your dreams with God’s plan for you.

If your goals are not good or your motives are not pure, how then can God bless them? God cannot bless sin.

It’s not in God’s character to do anything dishonest, for God is Truth and Light. There is no darkness in Him. When you have integrity and seek the good of others, above self-gain or profit, God will bless you, in His perfect time.

So, ask for His guidance as you sit down and write your goals, and stay in prayer as you go about activating them. He will point you in the right direction. Trust and believe!

You are more likely to succeed if the goal is connected to who you are. Every goal is about a feeling. An emotional connection drives the goal.

The goal can change as you SMART it, (this is something I can do with you in a coaching session). To SMART a goal is to break it down and simplify it and make it clearer.

Harvey Mackay states that ‘goals give you more than a reason to get up in the morning; they are an incentive to keep you going all day. Goals tend to tap the deeper resources and draw the best out of life.’

4 Simple Ways To Achieve Any Goal

1. Have a strong reason or purpose

Is it what you want deep down? Ask yourself, not being influenced by someone else, or society, or cultural backgrounds. This is to give the strong emotional support needed for achieving your goal.

Why do you want it? What if you don’t achieve it? Why does it matter? What difference does it make if you indeed achieve it? Be clear about what you want and why you want it. Have a sense of purpose, with a target to aim for.

2. Find a meaningful measurement for your goal.

Look at how many tasks or things you do that move you towards your goal, regardless of whether or not they are successful.

For example, you may have researched 3 business ideas for your new business venture, and made 5 phone calls. This is progress regardless of their actual results. You have started.

To accomplish anything worthwhile means experiencing many small successes and failures along the way.

So long as you keep going, keep trying, keep making progress, keep working on your goal, you will eventually achieve it. It requires persistence.

3. Focus on spending enough time on your goals

Time on goals is important. Have a notebook just for this. If you don’t write it down, it’s just a wish. Commit to the time required to bring about your goal.

We tend to underestimate the amount of time it takes to accomplish something we want; we get impatient, we tend to lose heart when we don’t see results sooner.

Eventually this kind of impatient state of mind will sabotage your goal. Ask people who have achieved goals, how long did it take?

4. Form a habit of reviewing your goals everyday

Be consistent with putting action steps in towards achieving your goal. Keep reviewing it daily. It’s crucial to write your goals down. Put them is a place where you will look at them every day.

You may refine it each time you look at it, this is good. The more specific and simple your goal is, the easier it will be for your mind to process the information and move you in the direction of achieving that goal.

So, achieving your goals in life is possible!

In order for you to feel excited about your goal, you must choose something that you really want!

We don’t always know what we truly want, but this is part of the process. You must love yourself enough to make the time to think about what you want in life?

The reason I say your goals must inspire you is that you won’t achieve the goal without being emotionally connected to it. A rational thought alone won’t do it. You must first see yourself having it and enjoying it.

The higher your goal, the more passion you will need. So, spend time imagining yourself having it. Dream of it and connect with the emotions you feel. Do you feel happy? Accomplished? Content? Strong? Powerful?

Remember, it is a process and you must be willing to go through the different stages to achieve it. Start with small goals, as that will motivate you towards going for the bigger ones.

I wish you every success in making your dreams a reality. Goal setting is an effective tool for helping you to achieve your goals if used correctly and properly understood.

“The World Hates Change, Yet It Is The Only Thing That Has Brought Progress.“

  Charles Kettering

As with all things in life, you can’t overcome your fear of change, until you first become aware that it is a problem.

One thing I discovered about change in my own life is that change occurs slowly, there is no fast track to lasting positive change, and there are stages to go through to get there.

In this article I hope to take you through some of these stages.

Dr. Stan Goldberg carried out twenty five years of research on ‘How People Change’. His findings concluded that change occurs in stages. He says it’s a gradual process that is tough, but not impossible, and it doesn’t have to be traumatic.

The reason change is traumatic for so many people is that for too long they live an unreflective life, going in the wrong direction, not listening to their own deepest needs and desires.

They keep going forward without acknowledging their problems, until one day they hit a crisis. Their world falls apart, and they wonder, what just happened? This is painful, and yes, even traumatic!

What Stan Goldberg means is that if you decide to look at your life as a whole; personally and professionally, and work on making positive change, aligning your deepest desires, and values with your actions, the transition will not be traumatic.

You’ve heard the expression ‘a stitch in time, saves nine’– everyone needs to make changes at some point in their life, but if we fail to make the changes in time, we could face a crisis later.

It’s about taking personal responsibility for your future, and making a decision to change!

Fear of Change

Before we discuss the steps to change, let us first look at our fear of change. It is almost programmed into us as human beings to dislike change, even though change is good as it often brings newness of life. Yet, we cling on terrified of upsetting the status quo.

People fight hard to hold on; the resistance to change is strong and even if their situations are damaging to their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health, they still want to hold on for fear of the unknown.

Goldberg says, change is frightening and this is why we resit it.

‘ We resist change, but fear of the unknown can result in clinging to status quo behaviours, no matter how bad they are.’

Why do we resist change?

To feel safe, not to look foolish, not to have to walk alone.

Let’s face it, if you want to do something bold and daring in your life, you will have opposition. It will be difficult. Know this before setting off on your journey of change.

The reason I started New Creation Coaching was that I wanted to see change in the world. Why? because I am tired of how our society is going.

I want the future generation to think in a new way that helps them realize their infinite potential.

I want to see more and more people doing what they were called to do, rather than just plod along working and paying the bills.

Life is for living, and everyone should have an opportunity to live an abundant, blessed life.

For me, becoming a new creation means creating positive lasting change. It will be a completely new life with old things passing away and new things continually on the horizon.

When you cling to old ways, you don’t leave any room for new things in your life.

I found this concept difficult at first because I thought I had seen and done it all. I had been very adventurous in my life. What could be new for me?

It was a challenge for me to change, as I was clinging to what I knew, terrified of taking the next step of faith.

For some people, change comes about through sickness or maybe even divorce or redundancy.

You hadn’t planned it, but it brought change all the same. This often proves to be a blessing in disguise. Do not be afraid of change, but rather embrace it!

Can you work with me for a minute? I just want you to relax! Now, imagine…

•  You felt total peace and joy everyday of you life
•  Lived wherever you wanted to live
•  Surrounded by the people you want to be with
•  Speaking freely without any fear of criticism
•  Not needing to people please
•  Being in charge of your own life
•  Carving out your own path
•  Not being controlled
•  Not needing to control
•  Accepting yourself as you really are
•  Daring to be the real you – living authentically
•  Enjoying life to the full!
•  Soaring to great heights!
•  Having life-giving relationships
•  Living with purpose and meaning

What would that feel like for you? Do you live like that now? Or, is it far from your reality?

We can find ourselves in a rut very easily. Our world system almost sets it up for us, and without true awareness and the courage to challenge the status quo, we could be in this rut till the day we die.

And believe me, I have seen it, as I worked as a nurse for over 20 years, walking with people in those last days. It is true, a lot of people reach the end of their life feeling unfulfilled.

The fulfilled ones enjoyed being old and looking at the rest of us trying to work it all out, offering kind support wrapped in little nuggets of wisdom.

They were at peace, had no regrets, and were nice to be around. They had used up their gifts and talents and had love in their hearts, not bitterness.

I just want to get you thinking today. If this doesn’t apply to you, that’s okay, but for those of you who are wondering:

Am I in the right place in my life? Are my relationships healthy? Do I like my job? Should I go for that promotion, or should I plan to leave?

What about your health? hobbies? financial life? spiritual life? emotional well-being?

Change can be daunting, and you may not know where to start. This can lead to inertia, but don’t worry, just take baby steps. The first step is the awareness that something needs to change.

There is more out there for you, but you will have to do your part to bring it in. I encourage you to follow your dreams, as life without dreams is very dull indeed.

The only way to overcome your fear of change is to make a decision to do it regardless and move through it gently.

7 Ways To Overcome Your Fear Of Change

1. Recognize Your Need To Change

Awareness is always the first step to change. You first have to see your need for change. Perhaps something isn’t working as well as it could?

Self-awareness brings new insights into your patterns of behaviour, reactions, defenses, etc. When you become aware, it allows you to choose something different that brings better results.

2. Make A Decision To Take The First Step Towards Change

Commitment to yourself. When you reflect on your situation and decide to make a commitment to starting to change, you are already halfway there. There is power in making a decision. You see the need for change, and you have hope of a better future.

3. Examine Your Life To See What Areas Need Change

You can do this yourself by writing down all the different areas of your life such as work, family, relationships, finances, health, self-development, and so on.

Examine each area and ask yourself how satisfied am I with each area using a scale of 0 -10? ( 0 being – very dissatisfied and 10 being very satisfied ). You can also come to a coaching session and we can go through this together.

4. Invest Time and Effort Into Making This Change Happen

Again, commitment to the process. First, you need to commit to the decision and then follow through on this commitment to the point of completion.

This is about believing in yourself and believing that this will work for you! We build self-belief when we make decisions, take successful actions, and accept personal responsibility for both our successes and failures.

5. Be Confident

Confidence requires practice. It requires mistakes and the courage to fail. You will have set backs, but all successful people fail many times on their way to success.

You activate your self-confidence by believing in yourself. It’s about having boldness and courage and not caring what others think of you. Dare to be different.

6. Be Persistent – Change is on the way

At this point, it gets tough, there will be some pain as the process begins, but remember, it’s normal to feel this way as you are moving out of your comfort zone; it may feel like you are pushing a rock up a hill, but believe me, it gets easier.

Don’t give up! .. soon you will see rewards for your persistence and determination.

7. Be Willing To Let Go Of The Old

Be willing to let go of old habits, behaviours, things, people, and anything else that no longer serves you in a healthy way. It takes time to let go of bad habits and to form new ones.

Be aware of this, so if you slip back occasionally, don’t worry too much, this is all part of the process. Dust yourself off and get back up.

A Few Final Pointers For Your Journey To Positive Change –

• Let go and trust
• Desire something better
• Believe you can change
• Don’t give up
• Wait with expectation – it is coming !

Make a decision today to confront your fear of change. If you follow these steps in whatever order you like, you will overcome your fear of change.

Always remind yourself that change is good, especially if you are feeling unhappy in certain areas of your life.

It may not be easy to change, but if you can keep your mind and heart on the future results, you will have the strength to keep going until you reach your desired goal.

Most people have a desire to find true lasting freedom in life, even if they don’t fully understand what this means. They have a sense that it might just be possible to live a life unconstrained or limited in any way.

This idea almost seems impossible to the rational mind, but somewhere deep within every soul, we know it to be true.  Many people will shun this notion of true freedom, because they fear it, but really what is there to fear?

What Is Freedom?

Freedom is a fairly elusive term. It’s not easy to put your finger on it. The English Oxford Dictionary defines freedom as “the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants.”

What Does It Mean To Be Truly Free?

If we take this definition of freedom to be true, then we have to ask ourselves, do I act, speak, and think as I want to, or am I inhibited in some way? And if you are not acting, speaking, and thinking the way you want to, why is this?

What stops us from living this way? Is it wrong to act, speak, and think as we want? Who is it that controls our actions, our speech, and our thinking?

How to Achieve Ultimate Freedom?

There is another freedom – the ultimate freedom that is found in Jesus Christ alone. It is important that we do everything we can to help ourselves to find inner freedom, but it is in surrendering to God that true lasting freedom comes.

In this article, I will be focusing on personal freedom as opposed to freedom in the general sense, such as social or political freedom.

A sign of a free person is seen in their ability to change easily.

There are two ways we can look at freedom

1.  to be free from something
2.  to be free to do or be something

Let’s first look at what it means to be free from something. What are we actually getting free from?

Free from:

• fear
• the past
• hurts / trauma
• feelings of inferiority
• regrets
• anxiety
• depression
• debt
• addictions
• perfectionism
• unhealthy relationships
• negative thinking
• sin

What are you getting free to do or be?

Free to:  

• live the life you really want
• pursue your dreams
• make new choices
• explore your true identity
• develop new relationships (healthy ones!)
• serve the community
• fulfill your divine calling

Free From Something

What are these obstacles that we are getting free from?

Freedom From Fear

FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real. This acronym is very true. Most of our fears are not real at all. They get magnified in our mind and blown way out of proportion, causing us to live very small lives.

Fear will cripple you if you let it. You must become aware of this emotion in you and learn how to manage it. As most of our fears are not real, it is up to you to train your mind to examine the thoughts that are bringing up the feelings of fear in you.

Your life is not an accident, you didn’t just land here on this planet. You were created by God for a purpose, and He has a plan for your life. If you don’t learn to overcome fear, you will never see this plan come to pass.

Learn to do things even with the fear in you, and as you start to move forward, you will notice the fear dissipate.

Freedom From The Past

Some people live their life in the past, carrying around hurts and memories, holding on to them for years as though nothing good could ever possibly happen again!

When we learn to reflect on the human condition and observe our thoughts and actions daily, we come to realize how foolish we are most of the time.

We live limited lives because we have not been conditioned to believe in ourselves and a lot of this learned behaviour comes from our past.

My parents learned to think this way from their parents and so on. Cultures also like to hold tight to old ways for different reasons, some of them are out of respect or patriotism, but others are out of fear, the fear of change.

Freedom From Hurts and Trauma

This is probably one of the biggest obstacles to growth, carrying around wounds from the past. Everyone has been hurt in some way, no one ever completely escapes it, although we do know that some people have experienced worse pain and suffering than others.

We have heard the testimonies of many victims of abuse, who have endured some of the most horrific situations and we see that they all come to a point in their life where they have to choose, what do I do about this?

Do I hold onto the pain, the hurt, the resentment, the unforgiveness, or do I choose to let it go, forgive and live again?

It is in this choice that freedom comes. You can’t be free if you do not forgive. People who don’t forgive remain in bondage and the sad part is that the perpetrator of the abuse is probably living their life without a thought in the world about the pain they have caused you, or they may even be in the grave. So, do yourself a favour and let it go!

Freedom From Feelings Of Inferiority

This is more common than you might think. Very successful people are often plagued with feelings of inferiority.

You may have heard of people who attain tremendous achievements in life, only to secretly whisper to a friend, “but, I feel like a fraud”. They don’t feel worthy of such success.

Others feel so inferior that they can’t even muster up the confidence to take the risk to achieve anything close to their potential. Feelings of inferiority will keep you in bondage.

One major block to feeling truly free and powerful in your life is a fear of rejection or abandonment.

It is normal to have these fears to some degree from time to time, but if they are paralizing you and making you afraid to take healthy risks in your life, then you are still in bondage and not free.

Freedom From Regrets

Maybe you have some regrets from the past, you feel you should have worked harder at school, gained a higher education or perhaps a romantic relationship didn’t work out the way you had hoped, and you have regrets about that.

Sometimes we feel a financial crisis will leave us with regrets in the future, but research has shown that financial regrets rank low on the list of overall life regrets.

In fact, the top 6 regrets people tend to have in life are to do with:

1. Education
2. Career
3. Romance
4. Parenting
5. Self Care and Development
6. Leisure Time

We can’t change the past, so the question we need to ask ourselves is, what can I do today to ensure I don’t experience these regrets again in my life?

Freedom From Anxiety

What is Anxiety?

Anxiety is a normal and often healthy emotion. However, when people experience regular bouts of high levels of anxiety, it could become a disorder.

“Anxiety disorders affect 40 million people in the United States. However, only 36.9 percent of people with an anxiety disorder receive treatment.” Adam Felman , MedicalNewsToday

Symptoms of anxiety are: 

• excessive nervousness
• fear
• apprehension
• worry
• restlessness, a feeling of being “on edge”

These physical symptoms alter the way a person processes emotions and behaves. It is important to know the difference between normal levels of anxiety and an anxiety disorder that requires treatment.

It is normal to experience anxiety when triggered by a potentially harmful situation. The symptoms of this are, a raised heartbeat, sweating, increased sensitivity to one’s surroundings. 

On the other hand, a person with an anxiety disorder will present with much more severe and intense symptoms, such as; nervousness, worry, fear, or even paranoia that are way out of proportion to the trigger.

Freedom From Depression

“Depressive disorders are characterized by persistent feelings of sadness and worthlessness and a lack of desire to engage in formerly pleasurable activities.”  (Psychology Today)

Depression is a very common mental health problem today. According to the National Institutes of Health, more than 16 million adults suffer from at least one bout of depression each year.

But, the good news is, it can be treated with psychotherapy, medication or both.

Depression effects the mood and the motivation of individuals. It also interferes with daily living, making even simple tasks difficult to do.

This is because it disrupts the way the brain processes information and interprets experiences.

Some of the symptoms of depression are:

• sadness
• anxiety
• empty mood
• loss of energy or fatigue
• loss of appetite
• loss of interest in activities that were once pleasurable
• difficulty thinking, concentrating and making decisions
• insomnia
• feelings of hopelessness, even despair leading to suicidal thoughts

If you are feeling depressed right now, know that there is hope and there are many people who can help you. You can be free from depression if you can get to the root cause.

It’s important to have a belief in God or a higher power as sometimes the feeling of depression can be so heavy and overwhelming that it is good to be able to hand this over in prayer or meditation to God.

It is best to get help from professionals if you feel very depressed. One red flag of depression is if you notice yourself isolating.

Part of your recovery will involve other people, so make the most of all the available services, such as counsellors, doctors, psychotherapists, coaches, pastors, priests, etc. You are not alone.

Also, supportive family members and friends can help you if you share how you feel with them.

So, stay hopeful and keep an optimistic outlook. You can overcome depression and find true lasting freedom and joy in your life. It is possible!

Freedom From Debt

Financial freedom is something everyone should have in life. We were not meant to be poor, we have a God who wants to provide for us, but it is fallen man that has brought poverty into the world.

The key to finding financial freedom is to understand this, we are not the ones producing the wealth. We are always dependent upon God for our success. We have our part to play, but the wealth comes from God. Wealth can disappear in the blink of an eye. The bible says:

“Enjoy prosperity while you can, but when hard times strike, realize that both come from God. Remember that nothing is certain in life.” Ecclesiastes 7:14

When we strive in our own strength, we fail. We might make money, but there will be a lack somewhere else which will probably show up in a relationship, our health, our joy, or peace.

The key is to make your plans, get into action, let go of the outcome, and trust God.

Freedom From Addictions

“Addiction is a brain disorder characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli despite adverse consequences.” Wikipedia

Addiction is so prevalent in our society today, more and more addictions are being added to the list as the years roll on. This is probably due to the fast rate of change in the last 30 years.

Human beings are not emotionally prepared for this rapid change, and we are struggling to keep up.

Addictions are a sign of our times, people are turning to rewarding stimuli to escape the pain and stress of just living life. We all know life shouldn’t be like this, but it looks like we have a long way to go to find balance.

What are some of the addictions people suffer from today?

• Alcohol
• Drug
• Nicotine
• Caffeine
• Sugar
• Food
• Work addiction
• Shopping addiction
• Tatoo addiction
• Sex addiction
• Pornography
• Codependency
• Gambling
• Playing Video Games
• Exercising
• Spiritual Obsession (as opposed to religious devotion)
• Compulsive spending

Why are addictions a problem and how do addictions prevent us from being free?

This is an interesting question, because after all, don’t people enjoy these habits? Most people cling tightly to their drug of choice and often refuse to see it as a problem. They just don’t want to give it up.

Giving up addictive behaviour or habits is not easy, but why?

The simple answer to this question is because the addictions suppress painful emotions or feelings that are too difficult to face. All addictions are an escape from reality and hinder growth and progress in life.

When we feel very anxious or emotionally fragile we tend to reach for comfort, a drug to kill the pain. What is your drug of choice, and are you willing to give it up for a life of freedom, peace, and joy?

Freedom comes when we become aware of our addictive habits, and choose to give them up and do the emotional work that needs to be done to heal the root cause of the addiction.

Freedom From Perfectionism

“Perfectionism is defined as a personal standard, attitude, or philosophy that demands perfection and rejects anything less.” (dictionary.com)

The root of perfectionism is a deep sense of unworthiness. When perfectionism shows up, it is often accompanied by depression, anxiety, and anger.

Ultimately, perfectionism isn’t about doing things right, it’s really about control. The perfectionist wants to be accepted, loved and valued, and feels the only way to receive this acceptance is by being perfect in every way.

The problem with perfectionism is that society praises it as it produces good results (for society), but it doesn’t produce good results for the perfectionist, so they need help to get free from it.

Steps To Overcome Perfectionism

• Revaluate your standards – how do other people do things? / are my expectations too high?
• Try relaxing your standards a bit
• Challenge your perfectionist thoughts – how important is it?
• Learn to say “I don’t know.” or “I was wrong.”

Freedom From Unhealthy Relationships

Personally, I feel this is one of the biggest factors to finding true personal freedom in your life. Think about it, what has caused you the most pain and trauma in your life? People, of course!

Most of us start off as children loving and trusting the world around us and then… well, you know!! the list goes on, we’ve all been hurt, rejected, abandoned, betrayed, or whatever else you have experienced in your lifetime to date.

Did you deserve it? Of course not, no one deserves abuse of any kind, but some people think it’s okay to mistreat others. Maybe they were hurt? As the saying goes.. “hurting people,hurt people.“

But, even if your abusers were hurt, do you think it is wise for you to be close to them? Some people say, well they need love, and so they stay in some of the most horrendous relationships when reality tells them every day that their love is not healing their loved one.

In fact, sometimes the perpetrator gets worse if not confronted or challenged.

If you want to be truly free, you must have healthy relationships. Everyone knows this, but not everyone knows what to do about it.

You can be free from unhealthy relationships if you choose to be. As with all freedom, it has to start with a decision to change. You need to get to a stage where you say, enough is enough! I deserve better.. I want a great life with healthy relationships.

Of course, this is easier said that done. You can’t just leave your spouse or partner if you have been together for years. It is up to you to decide what is enough for you, and seek professional help if you are unsure about how you feel.

Counsellors, doctors, coaches, priests, or pastors can all listen to you and give suggestions. What you decide is ultimately up to you, but the help is there if you are feeling confused or afraid.

Freedom From Negative Thinking

Negative thinking is a killer to our quest for freedom. Negative thinking will eat away at any hopeful thought you have of the future. If you are suffering from negative thinking, it is time to find a way to change it.

Remember, you are probably in the habit of thinking in a negative way, so don’t expect things to change overnight. You will have to develop new ways of thinking which is very possible.

You can retrain the pathways to the brain to send new messages. This can be done through daily affirmations, meditation, counseling, or coaching if you are stuck in a negative cycle.

According to Mark Twain, “habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs one step at a time.” So, be patient with yourself.

Freedom from Sin

People don’t like to talk about sin nowadays, but if you are a Christian or know anything about Christianity, you will know that sin displeases God and that it is sin that separates us from God.

According to the Collins dictionary: ‘Sin or a sin is an action or type of behaviour which is believed to break the laws of God.’

The Law of God in The Old Testament was given by God to Moses on Mount Sinai and is referred to as The 10 Commandments.

The 10 Commandments act as a mirror, so that we can see our sin. As St Paul says in the book of Romans, it was the law that showed him his sin. He said, ‘I would never have known that coveting is wrong if the law had not said, “You must not covet.”

The Law of Moses is still valid and good to live our life by, but God knows that because of our weakness we can’t keep it. So, God made a new way through Jesus, His Son.

Free To Do Or Be Something

Once you have worked through the hard stuff, you are now ready to embrace this new beginning and pursue the life you’ve always dreamed of!

Pursue Your Dreams

If you had a lot of obstacles to overcome before reaching this point in your life, don’t worry if you are wondering, “what dreams? I don’t even know if I have any?” I was like that too at the beginning.

I had to do a bit of digging before I uprooted my dormant dreams, but they were still there, so don’t lose heart, yours are too.

Live The Life You Really Want

This is the best part, this is what I call freedom! At last, you can get to a point in your life where you discover that perhaps you were right about a few things, and maybe you can now trust that still small voice within.

People love to give advice, but sometimes their advice is not really what you need as they are coming from their own experiences and let’s be honest, do they really know you, as you do?

Don’t get me wrong, still, listen to peoples’ advice as they can shine some light on your situation. But, be sure to get quiet and make your own decisions in the end.

Make New Choices

You always have choices, no matter what situation you are in. At times, life gets dark and confusing, and we don’t know what to do next.

Many people are stuck in bad relationships, jobs they hate, and lives that are far from anything they had dreamed of, but they don’t know where to begin to create the life they want. Is this you?

Well, it doesn’t have to be this way. What you can do is say to yourself, ‘although I can’t really see a better future for myself right now, I believe in my spirit that it is possible.’

Before I started on this journey of self-discovery, I used to complain of feeling bored! I didn’t know at the time, that boredom was a sign that I needed to change something, or to begin something new that would challenge or inspire me.

“Boredom is the absence of a creative idea.” Bob Proctor

So, what do you need to change and what’s stopping you from doing it? Remember, you do have choices!

Discover Your True Identity

Getting to know yourself is a life long journey, but a vital part of the path to freedom. All relationships have to begin with you, and if you don’t like or understand yourself, how then can you expect to love and understand others?

We are living in a codependent world today. Everyone is seeking their identity in others. They identify themselves by the relationships in their lives and the roles they play. My family, my partner, my friends, my job, etc.

We need relationships and good, healthy relationships can be a great source of joy and fulfillment, but they must be put in the right order.

Why do we reach out to others to fill us, when others are just like us, imperfect human beings? What I’m saying is that if you want to experience true freedom, love, joy, and peace in your life, you have to seek God first, the ultimate source of all love, joy, and peace.

Develop New Relationships with Healthy People

As you begin to change and grow more, your relationships will change too. It happens quite naturally because as you are moving away from old habits and embracing a new way of life, your friends, and probably family too, will not cheer you on!

Yes, this is the sad part. Not everyone wants you to change!

Why don’t they want you to change?

Because they don’t want to lose you. You served them in some way and they liked what you gave to them.

Also, if you decide to change and embrace the light, they are threatened as you are causing them to look at themselves. They don’t like this, because they are not ready to change.

So, this is an important thing to remember if you decide to follow the path to freedom. There will be loss and not everyone you love is going to like it.

Can you cope with this? There is a cost to following the path to truth and freedom, but the rewards far outweigh the cost, so I encourage to keep going forward.

Freedom to Serve

Some people don’t see serving as something that brings freedom. Well, it does bring freedom for a couple of reasons.

Firstly, you are choosing to help others, you are not coming from a place of duty or obligation. In fact, you learn that it is in giving that the blessings in life come.

And secondly, when we serve the community, it makes us feel good, Also, we meet new people who can bless and enrich our lives.

Freedom to Follow Your Divine Calling

Finding and following your divine calling is a process that takes time, we must try different things that we enjoy and learn to tune into what’s working and what helps others.

The reason we first need to overcome our fears and insecurities is because it is this that holds us back from believing in our ability to carry out our God given calling.

To Sum Up

Finding lasting freedom in your life is possible. You are not doomed to a life of slavery, you really can live an amazing, fulfilling life, and be happy every day.

But, as you can see, it does take work, and you must have a willingness to take personal responsibility for yourself and make a decision to change.

You don’t have to do it alone, many people can help you. My future posts will teach you how to work through all these areas in your life, so you can find true lasting freedom and joy!

Remember, true lasting freedom comes from Christ alone. I will explore this more in my future posts. God is not absent from our daily concerns, He is in all things, and wants to work with you in making your dreams a reality!